i got up at 6 this morning and headed down to the beach access to watch the sun rise. i was supremely comfortable in my light pj pants and favorite green hoodie, though the wind blew stronger than i'd anticipated. the sky was light but the huge ball of light had not broken the surface of the horizon yet. i sat on the steps and took pictures and meditated on the beauty of creation. i don't understand how anyone could believe that it could possibly be an accident. a few pairs of people walked along the sand, enjoying the solitude of the morning. i also basked in the quiet.

when the sun was well risen, i returned to the house and began my study on idolatry by looking up all the references to the word 'idol' in my little Bible concordance and typing them out on a Word document. i'm going to google idolatry and get some other people's thoughts. then i'll probably write some of my own. but the one opinion that i'm really interested to get is God's. i'm beginning to get just a little sense of it from the references in the Prophets. i want this sin removed as far from me as the east is from the setting of the sun.

i'm eager to begin 9-month. work will be nice and i won't deny that i'm excited about being with everyone. i'm also stoked about living for God every day...walking with Him in the morning, through the work day, and in the evening. i anticipate Him changing me this year and i intend to do everything possible to allow Him to work out the character flaws in me and create in me a clean heart that seeks His glory and pursues His holiness. in fact, i'm going to end this thought right here and go write down my goals for this year.

lata'!

on vacation

It’s Wednesday of vacation week. We’re having a great week as a fam and with the Haley’s. We’ve spent most of our time at the beach but the evenings we’ve been watching the Olympics and movies together with cups of hot Starbucks coffee. The caffeine has convinced me to hold to late hours. I’ve been catching up my facebook and working on getting all my camp pix up. I’ve taken a bunch of awesome pictures of us on the beach. I figured out how to do the multiple fast picture setting and we took some fabulous shots of us doing the long jump on the beach. Mom even did it!


I’ve been getting up when I wake up – not early – and reading my favorite book on the deck. Psalm 119 is officially my favorite chapter of the Word. I’ve been so encouraged and simultaneously convicted and challenged by David’s own personal conviction and love for the truth of the Word. As the power of the Word infiltrates my soul, I discover a Spirit-given desire not to just acquire holiness but to pursue it. I also read Isaiah 1 and 2 and decided to study out idolatry. I need to understand the depth and seriousness of that sin. It’s one I struggle with. I do struggle with it because I now REFUSE to give in to it. I will not allow anything to preempt my desire for Christ and Christlikeness.


Well, we’re headed out to an outlet and then to the beach. I may post more later.

so like, every day, i get more excited about camp. because everyday at least one thing happens to make me wanna leave. oh, i'm still sad about leaving the Barrel and the girls there and the little kids (whom i love so dearly) but i'm not gonna miss church (except the little kids like the starks and the bowlings) and i'm not gonna miss express and i'm not gonna miss the boys always being on the x-box and i won't miss fighting all these feelings about my family all the time. i will be able to just miss them for who they are and not have to deal with all the nit-picky little junk that surfaces in the day to day relationships here at home. (maybe for the first time ever i'm not talking about mom and dad.)

and that one situation is back. it got home on saturday night but didn't surface until late last nigh/this morning. ggrrrr. i can't figure it out, i'm partially responsible for the whole mess and i wish i could define what's going on in my head and my bowels. sick feeling returned this morning and i can't shake. i think it's right but i feel like i'm wrong. and i don't know why. that's really frustrating. i mean really.

and i realized that i can't be specific with anything because although no one knows about this blog right now, it's not hard to find and while i may secretly want people to discover it and know who i really am, i don't want to deal with situations that could arise from specificity. ggrrr.

new subject:
i only need one friend. i have a plethora of valued friends but i need to remember that i only need one. and i need to only "have to have" that one. He's more than any friend could ever be. when i want someone to just know how i feel and comfort me without me having to say anything, He can (if i let Him). and when i yearn for just one friend to care about more than the others, i have One! okay, so it's hard because my nerves can't feel Him holding me but that's not a sufficient excuse.

and speaking of that one friend, He's been doing some work on my heart through 'the irresistible revolution" by shane claiborne. like, why do i have so much stuff? how on earth do i follow Christ like He really wants me too? i want to but i don't know how! and that's not a good enough excuse either. how do i live in such comfort when others are starving to death on a bed of dirt half a world away. yeah, it's extreme stuff but i'm willing to do anything as long as it is really what God wants. like, when i read the book, it sounds like the hippie thing from the sixties but it's so grounded in the truth of God's Word that it makes sense. Jesus was homeless. do i need to be homeless? if i have lots of money am i just not trusting God enough to give it away to help others? these are the things that i think about as i drift off to sleep underneath my soft sheets, comforter, and quilt in my queen sized bed in my large, six-bedroom house, with the heat running and the bookshelf and closet full of books and clothes, and my desk full of stuff like my laptop and digital camera. what in the world am i giving to the poor?

somebody tell me what to do and i'll do it!

number one

This is just so i can get stuff down and not worry about it getting lost on my computer. There's a ton of stuff in my head and heart right now which i may try to squeeze into the English language at a later time but I need to go to work in less than half an hour and I don't want to write just to sound good. I think sometimes I will write correctly using capitalization and appropriate punctuation but sometimes I won't. It'll depend on my mood. :-D I always use that capital D for a happy smile. It's how I feel when I'm happy. :-D

More later...